Welcome to the second part of a three-part series of articles on HRT and one girl’s personal experiences after her first 12 months of treatment. This article deals with the physical changes that Sixteen experienced. Most of her physical changes were in line with what she was expecting. However, some of her physical changes were unexpected and not necessarily in a good way.
Bear in mind that this happened during the time that her medical team was finding the type and dosage of HRT that worked best for her. If you haven’t read it yet, go and look at part 1 of the series that covers the medical rollercoaster that is the first year of HRT. Part three will deal with mental/emotional changes brought about after a full year on HRT.
Do let me know if you are a girl that is in transition and if you are able to share an experience that will help other girls that are just starting out. Hugs
This post was written by the talented Sixteen and was originally posted as a profile/journal update. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Sixteen at the end of this post and give her some Pink Femme love if you have access to her profile.
Slightly over a year ago, I started transitioning. It’s a pretty massive milestone to have reached, so naturally, I’ve been reflecting on how the choice to undergo hormone replacement therapy (HRT) has affected my life. I’ve previously detailed the medical journey itself, so today I’d like to take a closer look at some of the physical changes my body has undergone over the course of the last year. I was originally going to include mental changes as well, but I think I’ll do that later in a separate post.
Breast Growth
The most obvious change in my body is that, well, I now have breasts. They’re still small and have a lot of growing left to do (which can take up to five years to fully complete), but it feels incredibly euphoric when I look at myself from an angle in the mirror and see the definite growth. Breasts were always one of the things I had really hoped to have for myself, but I guess I was nervous about whether my body could give me something I’d be happy with. While I’d still like more, I can definitely say that I am happy with the progress.
I’ve never been the thinnest person, so when I started HRT I already had a decent chunk of fat up there, to begin with. As such, I didn’t notice any change for the first six months or so. What eventually made me realize that my body was actually changing were my nipples. I distinctly remember looking down one day and being struck by the realization that they were definitely bigger and puffier than what they used to be. After that point, I started to more consciously notice the breast growth.
Now, this was all well and good, but it did come with the downside of having to actually grow the damn things. Turns out it’s not very comfortable, who knew? Also, having extremely sensitive bits poking out in front of you that you previously didn’t need to account for has led to some rather painful experiences with doors being swung too hard, too close. Spatial awareness is key.
What also caught me off-guard is that the growing pains are very much something that comes and goes. I can have weeks of discomfort and sensitivity, followed by weeks of nothing before suddenly it comes rushing back. At first, this was slightly unnerving as there was always that thought of “Oh no, have they stopped growing? Is this my limit?”, but so far these doubts have not come to pass.
One day I may pursue breast augmentation through surgery, but I’m not really in a rush to do so. I’ll let them do their thing first, then worry about that if I still feel like it afterward. I would like a certain kind of look for myself, but it’s not so important that I’m not willing to be flexible.
Skin Softness
I see a lot of people who comment that this is the first change they notice after starting HRT, but this hasn’t been something that I’ve consciously been aware of. My skin is certainly soft but whether it’s softer is difficult to say. Now, this is probably because of a couple of reasons. First, my skin has always been rather soft, presumably helped by a fairly sedentary lifestyle. Second, I never really touched my body enough to really pay attention to the sensation as I’ve historically had body issue problems making the thought unpalatable. Finally, I’m just not very good at remembering physical sensations over so much time. I’ve certainly received comments that my skin is soft, so I assume it’s doing its thing in the background.
Muscle Mass
Again, this is almost certainly a thing, but I don’t exactly do enough physical exercise to notice any change there. If anything, I’m doing more exercise than I was pre-HRT, so the loss of muscle mass is somewhat countered by the gains from actually doing some exercise on occasion.
Erectile Function
The other big change I’ve experienced has been a drastic change in my erectile function. To keep it simple, having an erection kind of hurts! The lower my testosterone count, the more pronounced this effect is. Right now it’s not enough to drastically alter my penis’s ability to function, but the discomfort is sufficient to make me consider other forms of stimulation, like vibrating wands and so on.
The interesting thing is that when I ejaculate, this effect is greatly magnified. At its worst, when I had essentially no testosterone, this was almost excruciating. For those who have penises, I think the best comparison is that the mere act of having an erection felt similar to that heightened sensitivity one has immediately post-orgasm, where even light continued stimulation can feel torturous. With that as my norm, my own post-orgasm sensation was so sensitive that I couldn’t even touch my penis while it was still erect. Just moving would cause it to sway, causing pain. I couldn’t pack it away because restraining it would be agonizing, so I often just ended up standing there for a while, waiting for the erection to fade.
Aside from the sensation, erections also happen a lot less frequently. Unlike before when my penis kind of did its own thing most of the time, I no longer really get random erections, nor have I noticed them during the night. It’s only ever when I’m doing something that specifically triggers it, be it myself actively seeking out stimulation or being in a situation that very specifically pushes my buttons. This change is both good and bad: good because I no longer have to worry about that damn appendage having a life of its own and getting up to nonsense, but bad because of the section below.
Now that my T-levels are a bit higher, this is less of an issue. It’s still present to some extent (and likely will always be there somewhat), but it feels a lot more like something I can manage now. If anything, the extra sensitivity makes me interested in exploring more CBT and maybe eventually trying out sexual torture. There’s lots of fun to be had.
Shrinking Genitals
It is absolutely the case that HRT can cause a significant size reduction in one’s penis and testicles. With that being said, I haven’t specifically noticed in myself. Not that I’ve really measured but if there has been any reduction in length, it’s going to have been minor. With that being said, I’ve spoken to people who have had substantially different experiences. So, what causes this distinction?
Well, the simple answer is ejaculation. Unused for long enough, the penis will start to atrophy. HRT can basically destroy your ability to have an erection. I don’t quite know if it can outright stop them, but between the mental effects of killing one’s libido and the fact that having an erection itself can be painful enough that one wants to avoid it, it’s really common to just… stop getting that release.
In my case, I went from someone who was probably masturbating 4-5 times a week to someone who didn’t do so for months because I just had absolutely no drive to do so. I eventually started forcing myself to get off specifically so I could try and avoid atrophy but fuck it was a slog sometimes. It’s very weird to think of masturbation as ‘work’, but it really did feel like it. Even now, my motivation to masturbate is mostly about maintaining my body more than desire. It’s not like I appreciate eroticism any less, I just no longer feel compelled to act on it.
Ejaculation
The most recent change has been that the consistency of my ejaculate has drastically changed. Gone are the days of white strings shooting into the skies, now my cum is clearer and more dribbly. Kind of like permanent pre-cum. This, I imagine, would be reflecting the vastly decreased sperm count that I now have. Orgasms also tend to be a more protracted process, rather than a crescendo where everything comes at once. It’s really quite fascinating.
Supposedly this is something that’s going to continue and get more pronounced, with many trans women experiencing prolonged leaking when aroused, mirroring typical feminine arousal patterns. I don’t think I’ve quite reached this point yet, but it’s also true that I haven’t been in situations where I’ve explored longer periods of continued arousal; I can’t be bothered doing that to myself and my search for compatible partners is ongoing. Still, I’m very keen to see where this goes, particularly since this sounds like it could be very fun alongside chastity.
That summarises the first year of physical changes. Overall, I’m really happy with what my body has been going through! Sure, there have been some pain points, but even they have a silver lining as they remind me that I’m transitioning and that my body really is changing. I’m so keen to see what happens over the next year! Stay tuned for the next writing, where I’ll be going into detail about all of the interesting mental changes I’ve experienced as well.
Sixteen is a young lady going through her process of transition. As she said to me: “The more resources and lived experiences available to those just starting their own journeys, the better.” The “writings” part of her profile on this platform is where this article was first published and where you can read more from this highly creative girl living her authentic life. If you are also on that platform, go and give her writing some Pink Femme love.
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