It is a poor sense of self-worth that traps so many us in bad relationships long past their expiry date. This is what will sabotage new relationships over and over again.
I am not saying that having a good sense of self-worth will guarantee a happy relationship. What it will do is protect you against feeling so devastated and broken when a relationship ends.
Having a sense of self-worth means knowing who you are on the inside and having the strength to express that at the start of a relationship without fearing rejection which may or may not happen.
I am not saying that being a confident girl will guarantee you a happy relationship.
What it will do is allow you to identify what you want and what you deserve to have in a relationship.
Here are ten things girls who value their self-worth do differently in their relationships:
Confident women don’t analyze if their partner likes them
A confident woman believes she is worthy of love and does not question how someone feels about them.
She knows that she is competent and lovable. The right partner for them will be able to see this.
She does not anxious or stressed when she can’t read her partners feelings clearly because her sense of worth is not attached to what her partner thinks.
She assumes that her partner likes her and that frees her from being crippled by fear, uncertainty, and doubt.
Confident women know a relationship can fall apart and not be their fault
Sometimes two people are just not compatible and they just don’t match up no matter how hard they try. This does not make either of them wrong or bad people.
Sometimes a deeper connection is just not there. Sometimes a partner does not want/be ready for a romantic relationship and a confident woman will not take that personally.
Being confident she will be able to move on with her sense of self intact.
An insecure woman just spirals if her partner leaves or threatens to leave. She will often replay each and every interaction obsessively to try and analyze where she went wrong. She will cling to the notion that it is her fault and she is the problem. This leads to the destructive belief that she is unlovable.
Confident women set and keep healthy boundaries
When a woman has strong boundaries, it means she can prioritize her own emotional needs and not get sucked into assuming responsibility for someone else’s needs and emotions.
A confident woman knows what she will and will not accept in a relationship. She cannot be guilted into doing things they don’t want to do.
She will always act in accordance with their inner truth and what they believe.
When you have weak boundaries, you will likely sell yourself short in your relationship. That usually means putting up with being treated in a way that you know is objectively unacceptable.
A confident woman does not abandon parts of herself in order to have a relationship. She brings her whole self into her relationship and if her partner wants something else, or something more, she has the confidence to walk away rather than compromise her values.
A woman with healthy boundaries will not lose all or parts of herself in a relationship. She will not allow her identity to be entirely contingent upon how her partner sees her.
She will continue to maintain her own life outside of the relationship without giving up her friends, hobbies, or alone time. What’s more, she has the confidence to tell her partner upfront that her friends, hobbies, and alone time are important to her and ar non-negotiables.
She won’t abandon important parts of herself or her life for the sake of having just any relationship.
Confident women trust themselves and their decisions
A key component of being a confident woman is trusting yourself to make the right choices. You can do this because you realize that you are well equipped to cope emotionally should things go awry.
A confident woman does not constantly question their actions and feel conflicted about the right thing to say or do. She acts on how she feels and is comfortable being her true, authentic self.
A woman with low self-esteem does not trust her own judgment. she doesn’t trust her gut instinct and is afraid of being wrong.
As a result, she tends to live her life in a constant state of anxiety.
Confident women don’t talk themselves up nor do they show off
A confident woman has no need to tell the world how great she is.
In contrast, insecure people secretly feel that they are unworthy. They will feel the need to hide this by bragging about their achievements.
A woman who reveals herself gradually, carefully peeling back the layers over time, is significantly more attractive than a woman who lays it all out there.
When you truly feel that you are worthy, you don’t need to tell people, they will just know.
A big mistake insecure women make in the early stages of dating is selling themselves to a partner. This may seem to be completely innocent, but it comes from a deeper sense of insecurity and inadequacy.
However, a confident woman has no need to sell herself when she starts dating someone. Instead, she will use the dating process as a means to determine which partner is worthy of their time and affection.
Confident women accept responsibility for their own actions
A confident woman accepts responsibility for her own actions and emotions.
They will not blame or shame her partner if she feels unhappy. She will not accuse her partner of “making” her feel a certain way.
She doesn’t blame a partner for being a jerk because she does not see herself as a victim of other people nor of circumstances.
She realizes that her time is her responsibility.
She will not wait around in dead-end relationships, hoping something will magically change. She will not blame her exes for wasting her time. Her relationships with her exes gave her the opportunity to learn something about herself as a person.
Because she takes responsibility for her choices, both good and bad, she can use mistakes as opportunities to grow and become even better.
Confident women take the relationship for what it is without the need for labels
A confident woman feels secure in her relationships.
They don’t need to have a title or a ring as some sort of external confirmation that the relationship exists.
She is able to just be present and in the relationship and let it unfold organically, without force or pressure.
I am not saying that she will stay with a partner who won’t commit in the way that shows respect to her and the relationship.
She is able to give and receive freely in her relationships and as a result, they don’t stress out about labels. She just knows that if it’s right, it will work out. And if it’s not right, she will be able to cut and move on.
Confident women do not stay in bad relationships
A confident woman does not stay in relationships where she doesn’t feel respected, appreciated, and valued.
I am not saying that she will not take responsibility for her role in the success or failure of a relationship.
What she won’t do is assume full responsibility if a relationship isn’t working and take it upon herself to try to solve the problem by giving and doing more for a partner that doesn’t respect her.
A confident woman is not afraid to walk away when something isn’t working and the thought that she might wind up alone never crosses her mind.
This holds especially true when a relationship is abusive. She can quickly see when a situation is damaging or dangerous and will remove herself immediately.
Insecure women put up with being treated in an unacceptable manner, largely because they feel that that’s what they deserve on some level.
You need to learn to value and love yourself. That way you can avoid getting stuck with anyone that doesn’t truly value you.
Confident women don’t desperately seek reassurance.
A woman with high self-esteem knows she is loved and lovable. Primarily because she loves herself. That is why she doesn’t need a partner to remind them every day. It is something she intuitively feels and knows.
When you are insecure, you need constant validation that you are loved and become resentful if your partner doesn’t give it to you.
A woman with low self-worth will blame her partner for making her feel insecure in the relationship. She may try harder to try to please her partner to earn his/her love. Alternatively, she may withhold her love and affection to even the score.
This manifests as neediness and is a relationship killer. She needs constant reassurance and if she doesn’t get it, she lashes out and blames her partner for not providing it.
If you don’t feel good about yourself, nothing your partner ever does will ever be enough.
Until you get to the point where you truly believe you are worthy of love, you will never believe someone else can love you.
Confident women choose partners wisely
A confident woman uses both her head and her heart when choosing a romantic partner.
She can quickly assess if someone is emotionally healthy and can give them what they need in a relationship. She will be able to discuss her own emotional readiness for a relationship as well as that of a potential partner.
She will not let her ego get too intertwined with her emotions. She will make sure she nad her potential partner are fundamentally compatible at an emotional level before she gets too involved.
At the same time, she will not be averse to going on a date with someone who is not yet emotionally ready for a new relationship. We all heal from past relationships in our own way and at our own pace. A confident woman will be able to see that date for what it is and not build a “happily ever after” fantasy around it.
A core concept that you need to understand when it comes to relationships is like attracts like. By this, I mean that a confident woman will attract another confident person.
Insecure people unconsciously seek out relationships with partners who make them feel more insecure. She will want the unavailable partner.
Often this happens on an unconscious level because the insecure woman feels that if she can get her partner to change, then she’ll really be worthy and valuable.
She falls in love with the image of what she wants in her partner rather than the real-life person in front of her. This will never ever work. All she will end up doing is compromising her integrity even further by chasing the relationship.
The same applies when you let yourself get involved with a partner on the rebound from an abusive relationship. It is not your responsibility to heal them. Only they can heal themselves when they are ready to do so. There is a saying that hurt people, hurt people. This applies as much to relationships as it does to social media comments.
If you don’t value yourself, then you will always be attracted to people who don’t value you either.
Confident women value and accept themselves for who they are. They will embrace the good and are accepting of the not-so-good within. What’s more, they put in the work on themselves to improve those not-so-good parts.
As a result, a confident woman can and does attract quality partners. She is able to connect on a real, genuine level that leads to real intimacy and a healthy relationship.