This post was created by the talented Candie Hart and originally appeared on her Tumblr blog. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Candie at the end of the post and give her some Pink Femme love.
It doesn’t take much for me to get all worked up about being girlier and girlier. I enjoy what femininity brings into my life, but there are also times when I get so frustrated with it. It’s almost like I’m dating a needy person who demands my attention and affection on a daily basis.
Chasing girliness steals away so much time and energy, as well as money. Yes, “dating” my fem-side gets expensive. Yet, at the same time, it brings so much joy and purpose to my life, which I am also able to share with my wife–even if that’s not as often. It gets somewhat stressful from time to time, juggling back and forth and trying to find the right balance. Of course, any reasonable person would understand that life, in general, must come first for a family man like myself.
So, what do I do? What should you do? I realize that for some of you, you have no issue jumping in the pristine waters of womanhood–and all the time at that. We are all proud of you. But what about men like myself and thousands of my followers who must keep our girliness at bay or possibly see our openly girly times as more of a joy-filled hobby or an escape from the humdrum life of being male? To be honest, it’s like straddling a fence that’s too tall to straddle (ouch!) or trying to fold a fitted sheet.
I’ve had plenty of years to try and figure out this conundrum, but I have yet to find the best solution. However, I have learned something that helps me and that I hope will help you too. It helped me transition my mindset to where I am today. To be honest, it sounds cliche, but here it is:
Breathe.
Obviously, I speak metaphorically. A good practice of exhaling and inhaling is good for the soul, but I mean something else. To breathe is to find your space and time. It’s like when my wife goes shopping for groceries. She enjoys shopping, not because she likes to spend money, but because that is a time and space she can be away from the kids and breathe.
For me, exercise fits the bill. I get to be Candie for a short period of time almost every morning. I may be pounding out some serious reps, but I’m doing so in my yoga pants and sports bra. I may be exhausting my energy, but I’m doing so in cute tennis shoes and racerback tanks. This gives Candie some attention while also benefiting me on multiple levels of health for the body and mind. It also helps me to be more in tune with my feminine self throughout the day when being externally girly is not necessarily the best option.
Breathing is not just about finding time to crossdress. It’s also about finding time and space to be “all-male” without even a girly thought. Dinner with groups of guys, playing sports, going on vacation with the family, a date night with the wife, etc., etc. You need this time and space and it will help you appreciate the time when you can go “all princess” even more. It will help to create some balance to your passion for girliness as well.
Life is too complicated no matter how you look at it. Even trying to simplify is an exercise in complexity–like making spreadsheets or organizing your closet. So, it’s not about simplifying. It’s about finding the time and space for all of who you are. When you can do this successfully, there will be much less stress over who and what you are and when you can be anything you want to be. And that can help you truly find a fantastic life in your girliness, perhaps in all of your girliness.
I hope you’re living a fantastic girly life! Just breathe…
CandieHart
Candie is an enthusiast for all things fit and femme. All of her very creative captions carry the same positive, motivating ethos that I envisioned for Pink Femme when I started this site. Use this link to go to Candie’s blog on Tumblr and give her captions some much-needed love.
Comment below if you would like to see more of Candie’s longer-form content with captions here on Pink Femme – I know I do.
I love Candie’s captions. it’s so hard to find non-humiliating or degrading feminization “motivational” posts. feminizing isn’t something I am ashamed of, it brings me peace. I am grateful to Candie’s work, those similar, and to have a place like Pinkfemme that is more nurturing. would love to see more of long from stuff, as I no longer use Tumblr I see those captions through the very kind Miss Edith.