For so many of us life is a balancing act between the different aspects of who we are. I know that the vast majority of you only have limited opportunities for girly time. Sometimes those opportunities are few and between – and that can feel very frustrating.
The trouble is that if we give in to these frustrations, we can work ourselves into such a state that we can’t fully enjoy the girly opportunities when we have them. That is where the title of today’s post comes in – Breathing.
On the surface, breathing is all about achieving the balance between our in-breath and our out-breath. It is also a metaphor for how we achieve balance between our boy world and our girl world.
If we are stuck in boy mode for an extended period of time, we can use some pretty, scented body lotion to connect with our girly side. If your work involves sitting at a desk typing away at a computer, you can always put a touch of your favorite perfume on the insides of your wrists. That way, as you work, a little bit of your girly fragrance will waft up to your nose and you can… just breathe… Hugs.
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This post was created by the talented Candie Hart and originally appeared on her Tumblr blog. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Candie at the end of the post and give her some Pink Femme love.
It doesn’t take much for me to get all worked up over my time as Candie. I enjoy what she brings into my life, but there are also times when I get so frustrated with her. It’s almost like I’m dating a needy person who demands my attention and affection on a daily basis. She steals away so much time and energy, as well as money. Yes, “dating” your girl self gets expensive. Yet, at the same time, she brings so much joy and purpose to my life, which I am also able to share with my wife–even if that’s not as often. It gets somewhat stressful from time to time, juggling back and forth and trying to find the right balance. Of course, any reasonable person would understand that life in general must come first for a family man like myself.
So, what do I do? What should you do? I realize that for some of you, you have no issue jumping in the pristine waters of womanhood. We are all proud of you. But what about men like myself and thousands of my followers who see our girly times as more of a joy-filled hobby or an escape from the hum-drum life of being male? To be honest, it’s like straddling a fence that’s too tall to straddle (ouch!) or trying to fold a fitted sheet.
I’ve had plenty of years to try and figure out this conundrum, but I have yet to find the best solution. However, I have learned something that helps me and I hope will help you too. To be honest, it sounds cliche. It’s simply to breathe. Obviously, I speak metaphorically. A good practice of exhaling and inhaling is good for the soul, but I mean something else. To breathe is to find your space and time. It’s like when Jenny goes shopping for groceries. She enjoys shopping, not because she likes to spend money, but because that is a time and space where she can be away from the kids and breathe.
For me, exercise fits the bill. I get to be Candie for a short period of time almost every morning. I may be pounding out some serious reps, but I’m doing so in my yoga pants and sports bra. I may be exhausting my energy, but I’m doing so in cute tennis shoes and racerback tanks. This gives Candie some attention while also benefiting me on multiple levels of health for the body and mind.
Breathing is not just about finding time to crossdress. It’s also about finding time and space to be your male self without even a girly thought. Dinner with groups of guys, playing sports, going on vacation with the family, a date night with the wife, etc. You need this time and space and it will help you appreciate time as your girly ego more.
Life is too complicated no matter how you look at it. Even trying to simplify is an exercise in complexity–like making spreadsheets or organizing your closet. So, it’s not about simplifying. It’s about finding the time and space for all of who you are. When you can do this successfully, there will be much less stress over who and what you are and when you can be anything you want to be.
So, how do you “breathe”? How do you intentionally create time and space in the midst of juggling your male and female persona? Is it an everyday thing or is it an as-you-have-time thing? Let’s do some sharing now in the comments below.
Much love to you all,
Candie
Candie is an enthusiast for all things fit and femme. All of her very creative captions carry the same positive, motivating ethos that I envisioned for Pink Femme when I started this site. Use this link to go to Candie’s blog on Tumblr and give her captions some much-needed love.
If you would like to see more of Candie’s longer-form content with captions here on Pink Femme – here is the link to the list of posts that have been published.
If you are new to Pink Femme, be sure to check out the unique 40 Steps To Femme program that will help you to feel more girly one delicate step at a time.