Something that I hear from many girls is how alone they feel in their girliness. It seems as if there is nobody in the world with whom they can share their girly feelings. These feelings of aloneness can easily lead to self-isolation which makes the sadness worse, not better.
The truth is that there are other girls just like you out there, also struggling for the same opportunities to express their girliness. There are 2 things that can help in this situation. Firstly, as a way to feel less alone, remember that there are all the other girls here on Pink Femme. While you are reading this article, there is a good chance that somewhere in the world there is another girl reading this article at the same time. There is also the Pink Femme Sisters community where you can interact with other girls who understand your struggles because they are struggling with the same things in their lives.
The second piece of advice that I have for you will help you to not feel lonely even if you are alone. For some of you girls, it might seem like a silly thing to do and that it won’t make any difference to your loneliness. When we feel lonely, we often just need someone to talk to or an outlet to express our frustrations and struggles. This is where a journal or notebook comes in so handy. Even if you are alone, you can “talk” to your journal and release those feelings that are holding you back.
By way of an example, for this part of the article where I am writing the intro for Candace’s blog post, I’m using my pink notebook and writing with pink ink. I’m sitting in the public library – my pink spectacle case and handbag are on the table to my right. I have earbuds in and am listening to some quiet café-style piano music with soft rain as a background ambient sound. Nobody is disturbing me or paying me any attention at all. You can do the same. Besides these Pink Femme articles, I plan to write a girly novel in the new year and I’ll be doing my story outline in this pink notebook, using my pink pen.
I believe so strongly in the healing power of writing your girly feelings in a notebook/journal that I have that I have made journal writing an entire step in the 40-Steps-to-Femme program. Go and check it out if you are looking for ideas and help on how to use a journal effectively. That step of the program also has a link to the Pink Femme notebook that is small enough to fit into your handbag like mine does.
Here in this digital space, let’s all help each other to be less alone, and more importantly, not feel lonely. Hugs.
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This post was created by the talented Candie Hart and originally appeared on her Tumblr blog. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Candie at the end of the post and give her some Pink Femme love.
My heart breaks for boys who wish to break free from the confines of gender expectations and I want you to know that you don’t have to be alone. If anybody gets the “why” of having some boundaries to femininity and some anonymity to their girliness, I know it. I know what it’s like to be alone and to never be able to share. Even now, outside of this blog, my circle of people who understand my girliness is slim. So, I totally get it.
I might not be a counselor, but I can be a friend. I don’t want you to be sad and I certainly don’t want you to feel like you’re on an island. It can be difficult to find others who understand a penchant for girliness, even among our LGBTQ friends who understand what it feels like to “keep it to yourself”. I can’t promise long chats or even give the right answers, but you can spill it out to me without someone judging. All it takes is a message. Many have messaged me before and sometimes that’s all that they need to do–just to know that there is someone on the other end.
Here’s to wishing for a bright girly boy future
CandieHart
Candie is an enthusiast for all things fit and femme. All of her very creative captions carry the same positive, motivating ethos that I envisioned for Pink Femme when I started this site. Use this link to go to Candie’s blog on Tumblr and give her captions some much-needed love.
If you would like to see more of Candie’s longer-form content with captions here on Pink Femme – here is the link to the list of posts that have been published.
If you are new to Pink Femme, be sure to check out the unique 40 Steps To Femme program that will help you to feel more girly one delicate step at a time.