Hardly a week goes by without a message from a girl thanking me for the supportive content that I’ve been putting out for you to read and how it has helped so many connect with their inner girl.
At the same time, the world around us seems to be fixated on labels. While it is true that my spot on the LGBTQ+ spectrum might be different than yours, it is not “who” I am.
When it comes to labels, I have been asked whether I’m a Democrat or Republican. The short answer is that I’m neither – that would require being a US citizen. Even if I was, that would amount to my political affiliation and not who I am…
I could say that I’m a therapist/counselor and that I work with those who suffer from PTSD as well as trans girls. However, that would be what I do on a day-to-day basis, and not who I am.
So, that brings us back to who am I. I’m Edith and I see myself as your virtual mother, helping you navigate the path to becoming the most femme you can possibly be. I love you, my girly friends. Hugs.
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This post was created by the talented Candie Hart and originally appeared on her Tumblr blog. It is reproduced here with her kind permission. Be sure to check out more about Candie at the end of the post and give her some Pink Femme love.
I couldn’t help but think this morning about how many of you dear “girls” have thanked me for positive and fun messages through the use of my blog. I am so very grateful that you have recognized this, though I don’t always intend to portray that. As I mentioned last Monday, this is simply fun for me. Yet, at the same time, I consider it a privilege to offer a voice for positivity. Maybe that’s my thing…my muse.
Here’s something for you to mull over–a Gym Bunny Candie original:
“If you define yourself by a derogatory label you will always pursue a life of negativity.”
Having a label seems to be the “in thing” as if you can’t exist unless you are appropriately labeled. e.g. “I’m republican.” “I’m democrat.” “I’m atheist.” “I’m Christian.” “I’m poor.” “I’m rich.” “I’m educated.” “I’m vegan.” “I’m healthy.” “I’m transgendered.” “I’m a sissy.” “I’m a gym bunny.” “I’m girly.” blah blah blah. Labels! Can you think for a moment how impersonal labels are? Instead of answering the question, “Who am I?” labels try to answer the question, “What am I?” And if “WHAT am I?” defines you, you’ve lost the one essential that makes you truly special–you are a person.
Now, you might be a democratic, educated, vegan, sissy, but those are descriptions. They are not WHO you are. Perhaps you like your labels; the descriptions that say something about you. But they do not define your person. They do not define “who” you are.
Now taking that, consider some of the derogatory labels with which we associate ourselves. I don’t typically think of myself as the label of sissy, but “sissy” might be a description of my “Candie” fantasies. “Sissy,” however, is often a derogatory label within our little tribe, and most often “sissy” has become a defining label–even with its many variations. So, I don’t want to permit this label to define me. Maybe a form of “sissy” describes me, but I won’t be defined by that label. I don’t want to be identified as a thing or by what I am. Maybe you do. Maybe that’s what you like. But I don’t wish that for you. I want you to see that you are more than a label.
For me, I want to answer the question, “Who am I?” Maybe I’ve got some work to do on that and maybe all of this is a little back-and-forth. Perhaps it comes down to word choices. I just know what I wish to convey: You are a person. We are people. We are human beings and the only brand we belong to is humanity, even if that gets screwed up big time.
So, try not to define yourself with an impersonal label. If some words describe you, then that’s fine; but let those words be descriptions–the colorful display of your interests and activities. Make “Who am I?” your pursuit and perspective.
Much love to ya!
Candie Hart
Candie is an enthusiast for all things fit and femme. All of her very creative captions carry the same positive, motivating ethos that I envisioned for Pink Femme when I started this site. Use this link to go to Candie’s blog on Tumblr and give her captions some much-needed love.
If you would like to see more of Candie’s longer-form content with captions here on Pink Femme – here is the link to the list of posts that have been published.
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